innocence of our odium (coolestchicka) wrote,
innocence of our odium
coolestchicka

I should write more

Theres a lot of things that I have had on my mind.
I think that if I could find a purely intellectual partner I would be much more happy.
I'm uncomfortable with feelings. and they are always changing anyways. They get too intense and people get too close too quickly.

I could tell people all day long about my past and all of the ups and downs and the bad things and the good things but it would be like reading a story. It's not who I am and it doesn't make us closer. All it does is perhaps open a topic we may both have something to discuss on. I guess what people don't seem to see is that just because we talk about things doesn't mean you are emotionally close to me.

knowing things about a person doesn't mean you know them.

Theres really so much going on inside. I'm getting so frustrated because of how much my mind is working. Overdrive trying to process all of my emotions and reactions. Sorting the information i have currently...
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I'm not going to say i know how you feel, just that i have similar issues with trying to organize how i feel and trying to get things working and to change things. Its very fustrating when you want something or need something to change and its just either impossible or too hard. And most of the time i just have trouble figuring out how i really feel and it drives me insane.

But on the other hand, i hope your okay sweetie, i know its been forever since we've spoke and that (doesn't help i didn't have internet for half a year) but i'm glad your still on LJ.

x
Well I havent been using this much but I plan on updating more. I think it might help with the figuring out emotions and stuff. It used to help to write and I've fallen away from that for some reason. I think mostly because I started having boyfriends that would read what I wrote and get upset and confused. It's pretty horrible getting yelled at for trying to sort yourself out.

Not everyone can understand it I guess :P
it's really good seeing there are still friends on here :) I'm going to try to be more active so I hope you are posting lots too!
Yeah, feelings suck.

Sometime we should probably get Chinese again and talk about un-emotional bullshit as a way of clearing the mind.
Sorry I didn't see this earlier. December has been a mess for me. But I agree we need to go out for some delicious foodstuffs. Very soon! Like after this holiday crap is over
Huzzah. I've got a few days off coming up after Xmas so perhaps around then.